Thursday, January 23, 2014

BenGay... The story of a Homosexual turned Bisexual and Now Straight - My unusual take on the Same Sex Marriage Prohibition Law in Nigeria

 The Same Sex Marriage prohibition bill has generated arguments and counter arguments. Even close friends have had cause to spar bitterly on this issue. Family members have also had hot arguments on the topic.

Imagine for the sake of this conversation that you had a brother who was Gay. For the sake of this write up let's call your brother BenGay. Let's face the truth as Africans. I'm sure if your brother BenGay was Gay, you would have prayed and fasted for him, you would have called elders of the family to admonish him, you may have discussed the issue with your priest in church, you wouldve have kept it as a bitter family secret because you will be ashamed to let anyone know your brother is Gay. If you think like me, you may have arranged some girls of lose virtue to seduce him and lure him to bed. All in a bid to make him see the bliss in experiencing the body of the opposite sex as God obviously intended! You would also have engaged the services of a psychologist to counsel your brother that he wasn't born that way. And that his sexual orientation was definitely a psychological response to his being rejected by the opposite sex in his teenage years. If your brother had been lured into sex when he was 12 by the house maid I'm sure he wouldn't be Gay today! If he had been seduced into sex by the raunchy girl next door when he was 11 I'm sure he wouldn't be Gay today! But because he watched all his friends at school get female attention and he never got any, because saw his brothers loved up by women and he never got any love from the fairer sex, because his attempts at even being friends with the girls was violently rebuffed, he gradually developed a resentment for the opposite sex! Even for his own mother. Depending on how deep seated this animosity towards girls was, he may have began to doubt if he had any sexual attraction to them in the first instance. He may have convinced himself that even if the most beautiful woman say Beyonce or Omotola Jalade or Mercy Johnson was to strip before him he wouldn't be moved! He may through a series of mental adjustments, have convinced himself that he was born that way. Was he actually born that way?

You see, what happened to BenGay was that he got into college and his peers realized his total aversion to girls. While they talked about the hips swinging around campus he didn't seem interested. How won't he be interested in such tantalizing mounds of flesh. When they went clubbing and boys used every chance they got to squeeze the bodies of their female friends with permission of course, he was either too scared to be adventurous or he was plainly uninterested! So his friends started the rumor mill, gossiping amongst themselves that BenGay must be Gay. Well trust university boys. To satisfy their curiosity they talked some free thinking ladies into sneaking under the sheets in BenGays off campus apartment,in collusion with his room mate. When BenGay stumbled on a naked lady under his sheets he went ballistic, threw an embolus and put up the most unnatural response. He even slapped her! At that point she shamefully dressed up and heaped insults at him - calling him Gay.

On one of those days in class, a strange face sat by his side during lecture. Let's call him SamGay. As lecture went on SamGay stroked BenGay's leg and rubbed his hands up his crotch. BenGay responded by opening his legs and adjusting to give SamGay more access! He was already experiencing some Brownian motion between his legs. Something he had never experienced in the presence of a woman. He responded in kind stroking SamGay who was also experiencing some Brownian motion in his crotch. They had discovered themselves. They're both Gay! The lecturer was oblivious of the goings on in class. Imagine for a minute that the lecturer found out what was going on...

This is Africa!

... Both young men would've been so ridiculed and embarrased. They would have been called all sorts of names and ostracized. That's the fact about African society. Well SamGay and BenGay would sneak out into the dark night on campus and kiss and touch and do with one another what they wouldn't dare allow their parents know. None of their families knew they were gay! The day SamGay offered to penetrate BenGay it hurt so bad that Ben was admitted at the hospital! Of course he lied to the doctor that he had hemorrhoids! When SamGay attempted to penetrate BenGay again, he violently refused! Then they started fighting. SamGay beat the daylight out of BenGay and flashed a dagger at him threatening that if he told anyone what transpired he would kill him! The two boys were rushed to the campus security but BenGay was so terrified he wouldn't say what happened! SamGay only lied that Ben tried to steal his hand set!

So BenGay was introduced into the dark world of same sex! Contrary to what he thought, that this was just a preference, he now discovered that it was more like a secret society of young men around campus! These men for fear of being exposed threaten and beat and main their young catches into keeping the secret. They were in your university class and mine! They're in your work place and mine...

This is Africa.

...So you will never know! Its a sad world. There is depression in that world and the occasional use of drugs! Not just for recreation but to numb the feeling of emptiness. SamGay had been caught in several inexplicable fights on campus!

Well, the relationship continued till graduation and they heard there is a Gay pastor in Lagos who runs an underground church that secretly weds Gays. So they both start attending the church at Orile! They were scheduled to be wedded in the month of February, when the Federal Government outlawed Same Sex marriage in Nigeria...

This is Africa.

...Because they were directly involved, they studied the Same Sex marriage prohibition act closely. To their dismay they found that they could end up in jail for 10 years for just being Gay! They could be locked up for 14 years for belonging to that pastors church! The pastor himself had caught wind of the crack down and had fled to UK! BenGay slid further into depression wishing he had learnt to get along sexually with females when his friends were arranging hookers to teach him the glories of a heterosexual relationship! Since SamGay was obviously the alpha male, he would have none of the Federal Governments bullshit! So he traveled to South Africa to join Arch Bishop Desmond Tutu's group DRAAMA... A group that advocates Gay rights openly and organizes Gays into a political party sef!

BenGay is alone in Nigeria! His family still doesn't know he is Gay! I know because we worked together and he attempted to initiate me into the act! I nearly punched him to pulp that day but for the fact that he begged and begged like he was actually CONFUSED. I sat him down and he told me his story! I led him to Jesus and took him through a process of psychotherapy using methods I had devised in my 10 years study of this topic! He confessed that seeing me wear pink and yellow shirts made him think I was Gay! I wear tight fitting trousers too! Lol

Today he's picking interest in this lady who I know is a lesbian trying hard through Gods grace to modify her orientation gradually,
into being a bi sexual! I encouraged both of them that its a gradual process! It goes from believing you're homosexual to believing you're bi sexual. For at a point, BenGay thought he was homosexual and could never have sex with a lady! Today he believes he can have sex with both a lady and a guy! Soon he will enjoy Merediths heaven so much he will regret the days he lost being poked by a boy. He's actively dating MeredithGay! They hope to get married later in the year and have somehow escaped a 10 year jail term.

Recently, He called up SamGay to tell him he plans to marry this ex-Gay, MeredithGay! SamGay says that's impossible, that being Gay is genetic! SamGay is obviously brainwashed. I look forward to attending Meredith and Ben's wedding! I shall be his best man!

And I really don't know if its a good thing or a bad thing to have a Same Sex Marriage Prohibition law but I know THIS IS AFRICA!

I challenge all the wannabe pro-Gay activists in Nigeria! Do you have a family member that is Gay? If No then shut the f**k up. You really don't know what you're talking about!

This is Africa

Iroko Obasi ND

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